RIOT PRESS — NOISE 013 (a zine that hates your algorithm)

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ISSUE 013 · STILL WARM FROM THE COPIER

Forty-eight pages arrive smudged, crooked, and completely uncalibrated — same as us. No push notifications. No newsletter. Just a stapled object that showed up at the record shop and refuses to explain itself.

FIG. 1 — "THE STUDIO" (A GARAGE)

FIG. 2 — "OUR ONLY CAMERA"

FIG. 3 — "THE EDITOR, PROBABLY"

INSIDE No. 013

01WHY YOUR BAND'S LOGO LOOKS LIKE A TAX FORMpg. 03
02A CONVERSATION WITH THE COPIER THAT HATES USpg. 06
03FONT CRIMES: A FULL CONFESSIONpg. 09
04HOW TO START A RIOT WITH ONE STAPLERpg. 11
05CLASSIFIEDS: LOST DIGNITY, MODEST REWARDpg. 14
06THE MANIFESTO (ALSO BELOW, WE'RE NOT SUBTLE)pg. 18
07READER MAIL: "PLEASE STOP"pg. 22
08TOP 5 DUMPSTERS IN THIS TOWN, RANKEDpg. 27

THE MANIFESTO

60% CORRECT,
PROBABLY

WE STARTED RIOT PRESS BECAUSE THE INTERNET GOT POLITE BORING. SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE SECOND COOKIE BANNER AND THE THIRD "SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE" WE LOST THE PLOT — SO WE BOUGHT A PHOTOCOPIER INSTEAD. ISSUE 013 IS FORTY PAGES OF UNFILTERED OPINION, STAPLED BY HAND, CORRECT MAYBE SIXTY PERCENT OF THE TIME. NOTHING HERE WAS A/B TESTED. NOBODY OPTIMIZED WROTE THIS FOR ENGAGEMENT — WE MADE IT FOR THE BUS RIDE HOME. IF A PAGE MAKES YOU ANGRY, WE'RE SORRY GOOD, KEEP READING. XEROX IT AGAIN. STAPLE IT TO A LAMPPOST. IT WAS NEVER OURS TO KEEP.

— THE DESK, RIOT PRESS, PROBABLY 3AM

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INSIDE No. 013

THE MANIFESTO

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